Pronounce me this speech trippingly a the tongue as I taught thee,
HAM:
Mary and you mouth it, as a many of your players do
HAM:
I'de rather heare a towne bull bellow,
HAM:
Then such a fellow speake my lines.
HAM:
Nor do not saw the aire thus with your hands,
HAM:
But giue euery thing his action with temperance.
HAM:
O it offends mee to the soule, to heare a rebustious periwig (fellow,
HAM:
To teare a passion in totters, into very ragges,
HAM:
To split the eares of the ignorant, who for the
HAM:
Most parte are capable of nothing but dumbe shewes and (noises,
HAM:
I would haue such a fellow whipt, for o're doing, tarmagant
HAM:
It out, Herodes Herod.
PLS:
My Lorde, wee haue indifferently reformed that among vs.
HAM:
The better, the better, mend it all together:
HAM:
There be fellowes that I haue seene play,
HAM:
And heard others commend them, and that highly too,
HAM:
That hauing neither the gate of Christian, Pagan,
HAM:
Nor Turke, haue so strutted and bellowed,
HAM:
That you would a thought, some of Natures journeymen
HAM:
Had made men, and not made them well,
HAM:
They imitated humanitie, so abhominable:
HAM:
Take heede, auoyde it.
PLS:
I warrant you my Lord.
HAM:
And doe you heare? let not your Clowne speake
HAM:
More then is set downe, there be of them I can tell you
HAM:
That will laugh themselues, to set on some
HAM:
Quantitie of barren spectators to laugh with them,
HAM:
Albeit there is some necessary point in the Play
HAM:
Then to be obserued: O t'is vile, and shewes
HAM:
A pittifull ambition in the foole that vseth it.
HAM:
And then you haue some agen, that keepes one sute
HAM:
Os ieasts, as a man is knowne by one sute of
HAM:
Apparell, and Gentlemen quotes his ieasts downe45
HAM:
In their tables, before they come to the play, as thus:
HAM:
Cannot you stay till I eate my porrige? and, you owe me
HAM:
A quarters wages: and, my coate wants a cullison:
HAM:
And, your beer is sowre: and, blabbering with his lips,
HAM:
And thus keeping in his cinkapase of ieasts,
HAM:
When, God knows, the warme Clowne cannot make a iest
HAM:
Vnlesse by chance, as the blinde man catcheth a hare:
HAM:
Maisters tell him of it.
PLS:
We will my Lord.
HAM:
Well, goe make you ready.exeunt players.
HOR:
Heere my Lord.
HAM:
Horatio, thou art euen as iust a man,
HAM:
As e're my conuersation cop'd withall.
HOR:
O my lord!
HAM:
Nay why should I flatter thee?
HAM:
Why should the poore be flattered?
HAM:
What gaine should I receiue by flattering thee,
HAM:
That nothing hath but thy good minde?
HAM:
Let flattery sit on those time‐pleasing tongs,
HAM:
To glose with them that loues to heare their praise,
HAM:
And not with such as thou Horatio.
HAM:
There is a play to night, wherein one Sceane they haue
HAM:
Comes very neere the murder of my father,
HAM:
When thou shalt see that Act afoote,
HAM:
Marke thou the King, doe but obserue his lookes,
HAM:
For I mine eies will riuet to his face:
HAM:
And if he doe not bleach, and change at that,
HAM:
It is a damned ghost that we haue seene.
HAM:
Horatio, haue a care, obserue him well.
HOR:
My lord, mine eies shall still be on his face,
HOR:
And not the smallest alteration
HOR:
That shall appeare in him, but I shall note it.
HAM:
Harke, they come.
DEN:
How now son Hamlet, how fare you, shall we haue (a play?
HAM:
Yfaith the Camelions dish, not capon cramm'd,
HAM:
feede a the ayre.
HAM:
I father: My lord, you playd in the Vniuersitie.
CRB:
That I did my L: and I was counted a good actor.
HAM:
What did you enact there?
CRB:
My lord, I did act Iulius Cæsar, I was killed
CRB:
in the Capitoll, Brutus killed me.
HAM:
It was a brute parte of him,
HAM:
To kill so capitall a calfe.
HAM:
Come, be these Players ready?
GER:
Hamlet come sit downe by me.
HAM:
No by my faith mother, heere's a mettle more at (tractiue:
HAM:
Lady will you giue me leaue, and so forth:
HAM:
To lay my head in your lappe?
OPH:
No my Lord.
HAM:
Vpon your lap, what do you thinke I meant con (trary matters?
OPH:
What meanes this my Lord?Enter the Prologue.
HAM:
This is myching Mallico, that meanes my chiefe.
OPH:
What doth this meane my lord?
HAM:
you shall heare anone, this fellow will tell you all.
OPH:
Will he tell vs what this shew meanes?
HAM:
I, or any shew you'le shew him,
HAM:
Be not afeard to shew, hee'le not be afeard to tell:
HAM:
O these Players cannot keepe counsell, thei'le tell all.
PRO:
For vs, and for our Tragedie,
PRO:
Heere stowping to your clemencie,
PRO:
We begge your hearing patiently.
HAM:
I'st a prologue, or a poesie for a ring?
OPH:
T'is short my Lord.
HAM:
As womens loue.
PLK:
Full fortie yeares are past, their date is gone,46
PLK:
Since happy time ioyn'd both our hearts as one:
PLK:
And now the blood that fill'd my youthfull veines,
PLK:
Runnes weakely in their pipes, and all the straines
PLK:
Of musicke, which whilome pleasde mine eare,
PLK:
Is now a burthen that Age cannot beare:
PLK:
And therefore sweete Nature must pay his due,
PLK:
To heauen must I, and leaue the earth with you.
PLQ:
O say not so, lest that you kill my heart,
PLQ:
When death takes you, let life from me depart.
PLK:
Content thy selfe, when ended is my date,
PLK:
Thou maist (perchance) haue a more noble mate,
PLK:
More wise, more youthfull, and one.
PLQ:
O speake no more, for then I am accurst,
PLQ:
None weds the second, but she kils the first:
PLQ:
A second time I kill my Lord that's dead,
PLQ:
When second husband kisses me in bed.
HAM:
O wormewood, wormewood!
PLK:
I doe beleeue you sweete, what now you speake,
PLK:
But what we doe determine oft we breake,
PLK:
For our demises stil are ouerthrowne,
PLK:
Our thoughts are ours, their end's none of our owne:
PLK:
So thinke you will no second husband wed,
PLK:
But die thy thoughts, when thy first Lord is dead.
PLQ:
Both here and there pursue me lasting strife,
PLQ:
If once a widdow, euer I be wife.
HAM:
If she should breake now.
PLK:
T'is deepely sworne, sweete leaue me here a while,
PLK:
My spirites growe dull, and faine I would beguil the tedi ous time with sleepe.
PLQ:
Sleepe rocke thy braine,
PLQ:
And neuer come mischance betweene vs twaine.exit Lady
HAM:
Madam, how do you like this play?
GER:
The Lady protests too much.
HAM:
O but shee'le keepe her word.
DEN:
Haue you heard the argument, is there no offence in it?
HAM:
No offence in the world, poyson in iest, poison in (iest.
DEN:
What do you call the name of the ply?
HAM:
Mouse‐trap: mary how trapically: this play is
HAM:
The image of a murder done in guyana, Albert
HAM:
Was the Dukes name, his wife Baptista,
HAM:
Father, it is a knauish peece a worke: but what
HAM:
A that, it toucheth not vs, you and I that haue free
HAM:
Soules, let the galld iade wince, this is one
HAM:
Lucianus nephew to the King.
OPH:
Ya're as good as a Chorus my lord.
HAM:
I could interpret the loue you beare, if I sawe the poopies dallying.
OPH:
Y'are very pleasant my lord.
HAM:
Who I, your onlie jig‐maker, why what shoulde a man do but be merry? for looke how cheerefully my mo ther lookes, my father died within these two houres.
OPH:
Nay, t'is twice two months, my Lord.
HAM:
Two months, nay then let the diuell weare blacke,
HAM:
For i'le haue a sute of Sables: Iesus, two months dead,
HAM:
And not forgotten yet? nay then there's some
HAM:
Likelyhood, a gentlemans death may outliue memorie,
HAM:
But by my faith hee must build churches then,
HAM:
Or els hee must follow the olde Epit itaphe,
HAM:
With hoh, with ho, the hobi‐horse is forgot.
OPH:
Your iests are keene my Lord.
HAM:
It would cost you a groning to take them off.
OPH:
Still better and worse.
HAM:
So you must take your husband, begin. Murdred
HAM:
Begin, a poxe, leaue thy damnable faces and begin,
HAM:
Come, the croking rauen doth bellow for reuenge.
LUC:
Thoughts blacke, hands apt, drugs fit, and time (agreeing.
LUC:
Confederate season, else no creature seeing:
LUC:
Thou mixture rancke, of midnight weedes collected,
LUC:
With Hecates bane thrise blasted, thrise infected,
LUC:
Thy naturall magicke, and dire propertie,
LUC:
One wholesome life vsurps immediately.47exit.
HAM:
He poysons him for his estate.
DEN:
Lights, I will to bed.
CRB:
The king rises, lights hoe.
HAM:
What, frighted with false fires?
HAM:
Then let the stricken deere goe weepe,
HAM:
The Hart vngalled play,
HAM:
For some must laugh, while some must weepe,
HAM:
Thus runnes the world away.
HOR:
The king is mooued my lord.
HOR:
I Horatio, i'le take the Ghosts word
HOR:
For more then all the coyne in Denmarke.
ROS:
Now my lord, how i'st with you?
HAM:
And if the king like not the tragedy,
HAM:
Why then belike he likes it not perdy.
ROS:
We are very glad to see your grace so pleasant,
ROS:
My good lord, let vs againe intreate
ROS:
To know of you the ground and cause of your distempera (ture
GUI:
My lord, your mother craues to speake with you.
HAM:
We shall obey, were she ten times our mother.
ROS:
But my good Lord, shall I intreate thus much?
HAM:
I pray will you play vpon this pipe?
ROS:
Alas my lord I cannot.
HAM:
Pray will you.
GUI:
I haue no skill my Lord.
HAM:
why looke, it is a thing of nothing,
HAM:
T'is but stopping of these holes,
HAM:
And with a little breath from your lips,
HAM:
It will giue most delicate musick.
GUI:
But this cannot wee do my Lord.
HAM:
Pray now, pray hartily, I beseech you.
ROS:
My lord wee cannot.
HAM:
Why how vnworthy a thing would you make of (me?
HAM:
You would seeme to know my stops, you would play vpon mee,
HAM:
You would search the very inward part of my hart,
HAM:
And diue into the secreet of my soule.
HAM:
Zownds do you thinke Iam easier to be pla'yd
HAM:
On, then a pipe? call mee what Instrument
HAM:
You will, though you can frett mee, yet you can not
HAM:
Play vpon mee, besides, to be demanded by a spunge.
ROS:
How a spunge my Lord?
HAM:
I sir, a spunge, that sokes vp the kings
HAM:
Countenance, fauours, and rewardes, that makes
HAM:
His liberalitie your store house: but such as you,
HAM:
Do the king, in the end, best seruise;
HAM:
For hee doth keep you as an Ape doth nuttes,
HAM:
In the corner of his Iaw, first mouthes you,
HAM:
Then swallowes you: so when hee hath need
HAM:
Of you, t'is but squeesing of you,
HAM:
And spunge, you shall be dry againe, you shall.
ROS:
Wel my Lord wee'le take our leaue.
HAM:
Farewell, farewell, God blesse you.
CRB:
My lord, the Queene would speake with you.
HAM:
Do you see yonder clowd in the shape of a camell?
CRB:
T'is like a camell in deed.
HAM:
Now me thinkes it's like a weasel.
CRB:
T'is back't like a weasell.
HAM:
Or like a whale.
CRB:
Very like a whale.exit Coram.
HAM:
Why then tell my mother i'le come by and by.
HAM:
Good night Horatio.
HOR:
Good night vnto your Lordship.exit Horatio.
HAM:
My mother she hath sent to speake with me:
HAM:
O God, let ne're the heart of Nero enter
HAM:
This soft bosome.
HAM:
Let me be cruell, not vnnaturall.48
HAM:
I will speake daggers, those sharpe wordes being spent,
HAM:
To doe her wrong my soule shall ne're consent.exit.